To say the last week and a half has been hard is an understatement. Coming to terms with the loss of your best friend and in such a tragic way has been hard for lack of a better word. I find it interesting and assuring to know that I can get through all of these emotions without the help of alcohol or drugs. It is a miracle and only by the grace of God.
My life has had its ups and downs since I started in AA seven and a half years. In meetings, they have said over and over again, using drugs and alcohol on a daily basis as a means to cope always ends with one of three scenarios; death, institutions or jail. Well I can say from what I have experienced that this is a true statement. I know no one that has had a long term problems with drugs and alcohol that has not had one of those three outcomes.
A very old dear friend lost his life less than two years ago due alcohol. He drove drunk thinking he was alright to drive after having a drink prior to getting in his car. The drive home was one that he had done daily for years. He took to the road using no caution and the result was the loss of his life. In the end. his Mother and Father no longer have their son, his wife doesn’t have her husband, his children don’t have their Dad and his brothers lost their best friend. For what? Alcohol! Was drinking all day without the thought of the repercussions a smart thing to do? We will never know. I do know his family remains devastated to this day.
Nedenia’s loss a week and a half ago was also due to drugs. Always wanting to help others, she had seen something in this young musician. He had so much potential. She was going to help him become something! When taking on this man as a project, did she really think about the possibilities of getting involved with someone that was not only desperate for money to live but desperate for money to help maintain a long drug addiction to crack cocaine? I will never know but, her life was ended in the most tragic and horrific way.
Did her killer think about what he was doing…I doubt it. He was under the influence and high. He didn’t think, the drugs were doing the thinking and in his fit of rage the target, the person that he came after was the same person that was trying to help him.
These two stories are just two of millions of stories that end in tragedy because of drugs and alcohol. A person is dead or in prison for what, a fleeting HIGH!!!
I know that the two I mentioned above are in heaven and I cannot blame God for their deaths. But did they take advantage of the fact that life is a gift and did they really believe that life is short? We are not invincible! We are human beings that are born and eventually die. If you or someone you loves wants to take life into their own hands and do drugs and drink without regard for the outcome and who they are hurting that is on them. No one can help them unless they want help. Drugs and alcohol make loving people into selfish people.
I am asked frequently about how I do it. How do I stay sober in a world that is full of hate, hurt, anger and fear. My answer is that I only can do this one day at a time. I surrender every morning to God and ask him to help keep me sober for that day.
This is not easy by any means, but I think of the alternative. Do my kids deserve to have a Mom that is worried about her next buzz or worried about if they have what they need? I think the later is more important.
No one ever said that life is easy. It has its good times and bad. But for the most part going through life with feelings is better than the alternative…I would never know sheer joy and happiness if I never experienced sadness. In the movie the “Parenthood” with Steve Martin, the woman that plays his Mother uses a wonderful analogy for life. I am going to paraphrase, but, she said that life was like a roller coaster, you have ups and downs, sometimes you feel sick, sometimes you wants to scream with fear and other times you are beyond happy and excited. When the ride is over you are bummed and sometimes all you want to do is go for another ride, but you can’t, you only get one ride on life’s roller coaster and you need to enjoy all of it!! Appreciate the good, the bad and the ugly.
After receiving a message from a dear college friend yesterday I am really going to put a lot of effort into my life’s calling this year. Being a recovery/life coach brings so much joy to my life. To tell someone that they aren’t the only one going through this thing or that and letting them know that they are not alone is my life’s vocation. We are all human and none of us ends up unscathed. The best is when you fall down, pick yourself up and share that experience with another person.
I am officially launching my blog.
My blog is going to be geared towards addiction issues. I also want to throw it out into the Universe that anyone that needs help please feel free to inbox me,firstname.lastname@example.org all of the mail will be handled with anonymity and the utmost confidentiality. I will respond to mail in my blog using a fictional name and the person that it is directed to will know it is them but no one else. I am responding to all mail anonymously.
I want this to be a “Dear Abby” type of blog dealing with issues surrounding addiction in your family. Addiction is a disease that affects every family and no one needs to feel ashamed or embarrassed. Quite the contrary I am in Recovery and I am proud that my family is living in the solution not the problem today. It is the people that sweep these issues under the rug that I am fearful for, hence I am going to see who needs help and is willing to take the first step in looking for a solution. I hope that I can help and if I can’t I can help to point the person in the right direction.
I hope that some will find this resource helpful. Please feel free if you are sad, scared, fearful that someone you love is in trouble and you don’t have anywhere to turn, I am here. My website is recoverycoachpa.com , WordPress Recovery Coach PA, Twitter RecoveryCoachPA, lastly Facebook Recovery Coach PA.